03-20-2006, 06:44 PM
some funny shit here!
>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
>take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take
>it out on someone you don't know.
>
>
>
>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
>forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered,
>saying "Hello."
>
>
>
>I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
>Carter?"
>
>
>
>Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in
>number!"
>
>and the phone was slammed down on me.
>
>
>
>I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
>Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
>transposed the last two digits.
>
>
>
>After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
>again.
>
>
>
>When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an aZZ!"
>and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'aZZ' next to
>it, and put it in my desk drawer.
>
>
>
>Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
>day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an aZZ!"
>
>
>
>It always cheered me up.
>
>
>
>When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "aZZ
>calling"
>
>would have to stop.
>
>
>
>So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from
>Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
>Program?"
>
>
>
>He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
>
>
>
>I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
>aZZ!"
>
>
>
>One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
>spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I
>had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
>waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For
>Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I
>wrote down the number.
>
>
>
>A couple of days later, right after calling the first aZZ (I had
>his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
>aZZ, too.
>
>I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
>
>
>"Yes, it is", he said.
>
>
>
>"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
>
>
>
>"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house,
>and the car's parked right out in front."
>
>
>
>"What's your name?" I asked.
>
>
>
>"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
>
>
>
>"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
>
>
>"I'm home every evening after five."
>
>
>
>"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
>
>
>"Yes?"
>
>
>
>"Don, you're an aZZ!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
>speed dial, too.
>
>
>
>Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came
>up with an idea. I called aZZ #1.
>
>
>
>"Hello."
>
>
>
>"You're an aZZ!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>
>
>
>"Are you still there?" he asked.
>
>
>
>"Yeah," I said.
>
>
>
>"Stop calling me," he screamed.
>
>
>
>"Make me," I said.
>
>
>
>"Who are you?" he asked.
>
>
>
>"My name is Don Hansen."
>
>
>
>"Yeah? Where do you live?"
>
>
>
>"aZZ, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with
>my black Beamer parked in front."
>
>
>
>He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
>saying your prayers."
>
>
>
>I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, aZZ," and hung up.
>
>
>
>Then I called aZZ #2. "Hello?" he said.
>
>
>
>"Hello, aZZ," I said.
>
>
>
>He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
>
>
>"You'll what?" I said.
>
>
>
>"I'll kick your a**," he exclaimed.
>
>
>
>I answered, "Well, aZZ, here's your chance. I'm coming over
>right now."
>
>
>
>Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
>lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over
>there to kill my lame lover.
>
>
>
>Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in
>Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
>
>
>
>I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there
>just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each
>other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a
>news crew.
>
>
>
>NOW I feel much better.
>
>
>
>Anger management really works...
>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
>take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take
>it out on someone you don't know.
>
>
>
>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
>forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered,
>saying "Hello."
>
>
>
>I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
>Carter?"
>
>
>
>Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**in
>number!"
>
>and the phone was slammed down on me.
>
>
>
>I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
>Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
>transposed the last two digits.
>
>
>
>After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
>again.
>
>
>
>When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an aZZ!"
>and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'aZZ' next to
>it, and put it in my desk drawer.
>
>
>
>Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
>day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an aZZ!"
>
>
>
>It always cheered me up.
>
>
>
>When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "aZZ
>calling"
>
>would have to stop.
>
>
>
>So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from
>Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
>Program?"
>
>
>
>He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
>
>
>
>I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
>aZZ!"
>
>
>
>One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
>spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I
>had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
>waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For
>Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I
>wrote down the number.
>
>
>
>A couple of days later, right after calling the first aZZ (I had
>his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
>aZZ, too.
>
>I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>
>
>
>"Yes, it is", he said.
>
>
>
>"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
>
>
>
>"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house,
>and the car's parked right out in front."
>
>
>
>"What's your name?" I asked.
>
>
>
>"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
>
>
>
>"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
>
>
>"I'm home every evening after five."
>
>
>
>"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
>
>
>"Yes?"
>
>
>
>"Don, you're an aZZ!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
>speed dial, too.
>
>
>
>Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came
>up with an idea. I called aZZ #1.
>
>
>
>"Hello."
>
>
>
>"You're an aZZ!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>
>
>
>"Are you still there?" he asked.
>
>
>
>"Yeah," I said.
>
>
>
>"Stop calling me," he screamed.
>
>
>
>"Make me," I said.
>
>
>
>"Who are you?" he asked.
>
>
>
>"My name is Don Hansen."
>
>
>
>"Yeah? Where do you live?"
>
>
>
>"aZZ, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with
>my black Beamer parked in front."
>
>
>
>He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
>saying your prayers."
>
>
>
>I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, aZZ," and hung up.
>
>
>
>Then I called aZZ #2. "Hello?" he said.
>
>
>
>"Hello, aZZ," I said.
>
>
>
>He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
>
>
>"You'll what?" I said.
>
>
>
>"I'll kick your a**," he exclaimed.
>
>
>
>I answered, "Well, aZZ, here's your chance. I'm coming over
>right now."
>
>
>
>Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
>lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over
>there to kill my lame lover.
>
>
>
>Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in
>Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
>
>
>
>I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there
>just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each
>other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a
>news crew.
>
>
>
>NOW I feel much better.
>
>
>
>Anger management really works...
![[Image: untitled15si.jpg]](http://img226.imageshack.us/img226/4637/untitled15si.jpg)
